Oh, HI!

     So, I remembered that I have this again, but I swear this time I didn't forget it on purpose. I've actually been busy and had a lot of things going on. Sooooo, let's recap!

     First and foremost, I am back in classes. I started on the 12th of this month, and as stressful and work-intensive as it is, I'm happy. I enjoy what I'm doing, after I finish it and see the end results. The process of getting it done is a labor of love, filled with much angry verbage and screaming. I just might have a few pictures though, so I will throw those up... somewhere. When I find them.

     What else... OH! I've finally been building things I like in Second Life, because I'm still losery enough to be on there almost daily if I'm not busy. Those things I DO have pictures of, so I'll throw that in now. There's been a lot of effort put into these, and getting them right, and I'm particular proud of the lounger because there's a script in them that allows for texture changing, and sit poses scripted directly into the pillows on it.
*I'll add them later, possibly in another post. Either this browser or my net connection doesn't want me to upload pictures*

     I've also been making sure I get outside and do things away from homework, school and my pc. I've found out that I am capable of walking six miles. It's been a good time, and I've been walking with a friend, so it's been a good time. Now, I'm gonna go to a bonfire and hang out.

Finally!

     I have good news! Technically, I had it yesterday, but thanks to the on-going problems with the DSL and the provider, I had no services until today. But! The newness has not worn off, and I am still excited. :D

     I get to go back to school!

     Hrmm, now I realize some people might not find that all that exciting, but for me it's an amazing thing. I started on the path to get a Bachelor's Degree in Fine Arts, focusing on Interior Design in October, and successfully made it through exactly one term before what felt like all hell broke loose around me. There were some medical hang-ups of my own that kept me from class, but I continued to keep putting in effort anyway only to have another disaster of sorts strike. Like surrendering the house we spent about twenty years of my life in and having to move because we just haven't been able to recover since my dad lost his job. We've all struggled to make ends meet, and I moved back home to help with the burden as much as I could, and we just... finally had to call it quits. So, on top of my issues, I was helping clean and pack up my childhood home, while my mom dragged heels a bit because she doesn't like change and my dad's health started to suffer.

     In the midst of all of that, one of the two cars we needed for everyone to get back and forth to work and class, died. On one of the days I was able to get to class without issue, no less. So, again, I found myself out of class until we got the matter resolved. All of that proved to be too much for my dad though, and he spent some time in the hospital after nearly having a heart attack. The doctor actually called it a "controlled" heart attack and said there wasn't any damage, but that if things hadn't been controlled, he would have been a lot worse off. x.X So, dad was put off on medical.

     The moving has been a slow process. We're still working here and there on getting everything into the current house. It's been a bit of a task for a number of reasons, but we are finally settled in enough that I could focus on getting back into classes again, and as of Monday I am registered half-time, like I was before, and get to go back when the term starts in July. I cannot wait. The only thing I have left to do is write a tuition waver request letter, and go in sometime next week to finalize things on my financial aid.

No...

     ... I didn't forget I have this. I just haven't taken time to update because nothing all that new has gone on. :D That's kind of a good thing. I'm not sure I can take anymore chaos.

     Sooo... what CAN I update this with? I saw the new Freddy movie when it opened. It was alright, but not great. The originals aren't the best either, but they were at least fun. This was just creepy and brought out a whole new level of pedophilia.

     What else... Oh! I think we're mostly settled into the new house enough that tomorrow I'm going to get back into classes. I've already done the re-admission app, I just need to get some paper work together, annnd register. As soon as I get that sorted, I get to start the looking for work more seriously than I have been. I've been looking, just haven't applied for much. Or... anything.

     Creatively speaking, all my art stuff is here in the house now. :D I'm just waiting for one good day to get outside where it's not cold, not raining, and not windy enough to blow the house over. I'm really dying to try and sketch the shed in the back with charcoal... but weather has not been permitting it. I might be able to start my green beans soon too, just need to get rid of the frost warnings. They won't survive. x.x

     Erm... I think that's all for now. K BAI!

I Had A Good Night

     Last night was dinner and a movie marathon with the crew. Our movies of choice, Nightmare On Elm Street 1- 3.  I think we were all hoping we'd get more than that in, but things ran a little late, and then one of the group bowed out before the second movie was over. I left after the third because everyone was getting really tired. It was a good time though, and I love watching horror movies. I'm not going to review them, but I will say the second was pretty bad. I had never seen any of them besides the first because Freddy just isn't my ideal monster, but given that next Friday we're planning on going to the opening of the remake, I figured I should brush up on what's going on.

     Anyway, not much else to throw up here. Things are on the right track with readmission for school, dad's getting better and may be back at work soon, or at a new job. Once things settle back into some kind of normalcy, I'll be able to work more on some of my artwork. I've been putting it off lately.

Crappy DSL is Crappy

Posts have been not happening due to technical difficulties on the part of my isp. I *think* they're mostly resolved now. They're also due to my being busy and being too tired/lazy to post anything here when I've had time to check in. SO, here's how my last few days have gone.

Friday was awesome. I spent the day cleaning and cooking for the barbecue I planned on having. I got to spend time with my favorite people and feed them, and then we tried to have a bonfire. I say tried because there were some pretty nasty wind gusts that kept putting the fire out when we were trying to light it, so we called it quits and headed out to a diner nearby to hang out.

Saturday, I think I slept a lot. Then later in the day there was a food-tasting party at my cousin's house, which inadvertently lead to spending the better part of the day with my nephew. I am absolutely retarded over that kid and love him like crazy, so being able to see him for as long as I did made me happy, especially since he's finally lost his fear of grandpa and was being all kinds of sweet and loveable.

Most of Sunday I had no internet. I was unhappy. Without internet, I can't check the things I need to for school, I can't look for work as quickly or fuel-efficiently, and I can't post here or get my gaming on. That's mostly in order of priority.

Today, well yesterday now since it's technically Tuesday morning, part of the internet problem was fixed, but right after my dad got off the phone with the isp, it went out again. I'm assuming it was for resetting since we found out the speed we were paying for wasn't supported well in the area and we had to downgrade. I also got tax refunds back today, did some banking, had dinner with the family, then bought an Xbox 360. I just can't make use of my xbox live account yet because only one phone line in the house works, and that is located in the kitchen, which is nowhere near my xbox. So, that has to wait. I also got in a nap, and then went bowling with a friend, and as we were on our way to the diner to hang out and b.s. some more, we got rear-ended. No damage, we're fine, she was driving and decided to let the other guy go... but I think we both peed our pants a little bit.

Aside from a few minor incidents, it's been a good few days, and I've been able to sleep without too much trouble, just... quite a bit later than I wanted. Like now.

Textures Will Be The Death Of Me

I still haven't textured the shack.

Well, I had some textures on, but everything I've put on I take off because no amount of adjusting makes me like it. They're good textures too, they just aren't the right fit for the shack. So, the search for the right ones continues... although I think I'm being a bit too much of a perfectionist about it.

I build things.

No, really. I do. Usually though, when I build them, I tear them down just as quickly or don't finish them. Today, I started to build a shack in Second Life. The shack is actually completely built, not dismantled or nitpicked over. The doors aren't scripted or linked to the rest of the structure, because I am not so great with scripts and don't know how to pick up multiple objects... so they have the weird puzzlebox icon instead of the standard box, but I'll figure that out. Instead, they're unlinked and phantom, so they can be walked through. This works for at least two of the doors for now, because they aren't going to be much more than "curtains" to walk through.

I've also remembered I forgot to put my windows in. But, altogether it's not as prim heavy as I expected. Altogether, I think it's 31. It'll be 34 I think with the windows in. It's also not very big, so if I list it anywhere to be sold, it's going to come with a warning. I'm thinking of doing an optional furnished one too. OMG, I'm still going on about this. Can you tell I'm excited by it? I'll get pictures/screenshots of it up once I texture it. Right now it doesn't look like anything.

Also, food + caffeine = solid sleep for five hours and a natural wake up. I welcome arguments that caffeine is meant to keep you awake, but that has never been the case for me, and too much of it and I get drowsy. Coffee is the only exception, because whatever the reason for that is, it makes me jumpy and gives me the shakes and fidgets. Anyway, there will for sure be snacks before bedtime, and caffeine if I have sources of it besides coffee.

Now that I'm conscious...

... I guess I should put some kind of info here, huh?

Basic info is over there *points*, but that doesn't really explain the point of this thing (Neither does my first post and the rant about insomnia. Brilliant idea...). So, let's expand on the basics, shall we?

I am an artist (read as "hack") and writer (see previous notation) because I don't know what else to do with myself. I'm in my (late) 20's, I attend art school, and I play both console and pc video games. I feel like I can't function if my hands aren't doing something, and I don't confine myself to any one style of method of expressing myself creatively. I'm probably ADD, and dive into whatever project grabs my interest and will run with it until it doesn't anymore. I also can't go a day without music. If I don't listen to at least a little bit, I get very irritable and out of sorts.

And now... I'm at the point of this thing. I have about a zillion ideas running through my brain at any given time, and sometimes, it just has to go somewhere. This is the somewhere. Any of you who decide to read this and follow it will be subject to my whims! Those whims may consist of, but will not be limited to: posts including my art work, short stories or story snippets depending on my mood, whatever random thoughts are swimming around upstairs and quite possibly/probably stories about the things that happen when I decide to leave the house and venture outside. Oh, and maybe stuff related to Second Life cus I'm a loser and enjoy lurking on there immensely.

And so it begins...

     I'm awake again.

     It isn't a lack of wanting or needing sleep that keeps me awake. Instead it's what seems like  the absolute inability or unwillingness of mind and body to reconcile themselves to the idea of it. 

     My mind buzzes in a million directions; creating and recreating scenarios, wondering what direction I'm headed in and if it's the right one, worrying (justifiably) about the state of mental and physical health of those around me. I try to clear my head at least, but as quickly as one thought is pushed away, another three settle in to take their turn at keeping me from something that should be as simple as flipping off a switch.

     At some point concerns for my own health creep into the mix. To say my mental state is stable is laughable at best. I'm constantly filled with some sense of anxiety, and of not being strong enough to handle the things being thrown at me. My body seems intent on seconding that notion. 

     While I lay in bed, desperately trying to turn myself off long enough for a few blissful, but coma-like hours of sleep, my temperature fluctuates. I'm unable to get comfortable and am either too warm, or too cold. Being too warm, I toss and turn enough to pull the sheets from the bed and get tangled in them. Too cold, it's much the same with the exception of trying to burrow into them as far as I can until I feel too warm again. There is no in-between to be found short of opening a window, covering up, and uncovering my feet... and even that doesn't help for long. 


     Eventually the muscle spasms and restless sensations settle in. 


     As much as I already toss and turn, the restlessness makes it that much worse. I end up out of bed, pacing as if that would give any relief. It never does. The only exception being when the spasms begin in my legs and need to be walked off. I'm left sore for a couple of days, but the pain is much worse if I don't get up and walk. I try to sleep again, only to feel as if I'm running for miles without ever leaving the bed. If you've never felt it, be grateful. I try and stay still as long as I can stand it, but eventually I'm out of bed again, pacing.


     By that time, my eyes start feeling like they're full of sand and the rest of my body is beginning to ache. The restlessness continues, and my muscles and joints ache as if I've been training for a triathlon followed by a vigorous climb of Mt. Everest. I'm exaggerating a bit, but I think the point is made. Unable to stand it, I go for my absolute last resort: medicated sleep.


     I never like resorting to medication, and the last several nights have been no exception. Despite all my discomfort, I don't feel any more rested after taking medication of some kind to aid my sleep than I feel if I let it happen naturally. If anything, I'm more groggy, though it could be the combination that does that.


     For the aching muscles and general restless feelings, three to four muscle relaxers. Nothing ever stronger than over the counter ibuprofen, but after an hour or so it helps take some of the edge off. Usually enough that I can sleep. If it's particularly bad, four ibuprofen and rub down the areas that ache the worst, usually my legs and lower back, with icy hot or something of the sort. It makes me smell like an arthritic old man, and confuses the temperature situation, but I get a temporary respite.


     Worst case scenario, I add in allergy meds. I'm not sure if there's any interactions I should know about between zyrtec or benedryl and ibuprofen, but the allergy meds are guaranteed to put me to sleep without fail. I generally don't take them unless I absolutely have to because of that fact. Benedryl is for emergency uses, in lieu of an epi-pen, and the zyrtec is for more general allergy symptoms. Both make me drowsy, the former bringing on a deep sleep for several hours. 


     Considering that it's slowly creeping up on 5 A.M., and I'm still very much awake, uncomfortable and unable to sleep, it may be a benedryl occasion.